General Sam Houston

Omni Hotel

So I just got back from Houston, and I can totally see why my husband is obsessed with Texas! Call me stereotypical but it just seems like everyone is happier and friendly in the Lone Star State!

I stayed at the Omni Hotel, which was beyond luxurious. They had a huge outdoor pool (the only kind, if you ask me) and a large pond with black swans in them (in reference to their Black Swan night club). I have to say the swan looked rather depressed and disinterested in living. I tried to feed him some tuna and bread but he wouldn't even try it. Seriously, I am concerned for that swan.

The Omni Hotel is located near the Energy Corridor area of Houston, where there are a lot of oil companies. I am surprised by the wealth I see around me--until I look up the house prices in the area.

Honestly, if you want proof of why a small government is a good government for an economy, go to www.trulia.com and look up the house prices in Texas. In-fucking-credible. A 5 bed, 5,000 square feet house (mansion?) costs less than half a mil. Compare that to any other state in the union and you're almost guaranteed to pale in comparison.

Yeah. I used to do that, too.

One of the other things I love about south Texas is the weather. Warm, humid, with gorgeous palm trees and delightful wee little lizards. It reminded me of my childhood vacations visiting my aunt in Tampa, Florida. Except I wasn't chasing after them and using them as earrings.

One of the highlights of my trip was getting to visit the Houston Galleria. If you visit this mall, be prepared to part with your money! All the best designers and stores have a location here.

As part of my idea to sprinkle my dad's ashes around the world, I started with Niagara Falls on the Canadian side of the border (Toronto). Since my dad was such a staunch Republican, I thought he would like to be able to visit Texas waters, too. I did some research and read about Kemah Boardwalk, which I wanted to visit for this occasion.

Not as good as it looks.

I have to say, this one was a big miss. Kemah Boardwalk was like a second-rate city fair on a boardwalk, with horrible restaurants (couldn't even get seated in one, and not because it was crowded) and dirty water. Nevertheless, I sprinkled dad's ashes on the boardwalk next to a flock (band? tribe?) of jellyfish, which reminded when we went snorkelling together on our family trip to the Bahamas and he claimed to have gotten attacked by a manta ray. I was a bit tickled when a group of fish immediately surfaced to swallow my dad's ashes down. I guess I should have been horrified, but it amused me a bit because my father was such an animal lover, and hopefully those fish will carry my dad's remains far away from the nasty waters of Kemah boulevard.

I concluded the last week of my month in Houston in an Embassy Suites hotel near the Energy Corridor.

EDIT: I also learned that Houston is named after General Sam Houston, an influential senator/governor who helped Texas join the states when it was still part of Mexico. Apparently he was married for an extremely brief time to Eliza Allen, who left him and publicly announced that he had "sustained the 'dreadful injury' of emasculation in the Creek War of 1814". I can only imagine what that means (although I don't want to). 

Don't Play Me Like That

I have an issue.

It’s with the music that is constantly harassing my eardrums every time I turn on the radio in my car.  

 Since when did mainstream music become so ....
                                                                           ..... completely inane and artless?

I literally cringe every time I hear Nick Minaj’s unbearable baby-voice or Drake’s "gangsta" rap. What happened to the days when rap and hip-hop had lyrics centred on social justice and politics? What happened to rap stars that were actually from the 'hood, who understand the real movement and the concepts behind it?

Nicki and Drake are the ultimates examples of the Great White Cultural Appropriation of Hip Hop. I don’t want to be a hater (e.i. anyone who is jealous and spiteful towards someone because they are richer/more successful/better-looking/more talented than them) but some things just need to be said.

Gross.

Today, mainstream hip-hop artists make music that is designed for affluent people in the 'burbs who have enough money to spend $12.99 on iTunes for their album. Music used to be the only voice for the masses of disenfranchised people living in the ghetto. Now that's been stolen for the sake of a trend. 

Today's hip hop artists would not be so bad if they were honest with themselves about where they come from and who their audience is; I really have no problem with a wanksta from the suburbs who wants to rap. But be real. Just own up to the fact that you have no street cred. Admit that you've taken rap out of it's original context. 

Don’t pretend to talk in Ebonics, wif all da bad grammar, when in reality you were raised by an upper-middle class white family. It is disgusting that hip-hop and rap on today’s mainstream radios actually claim to have a connection to the roots of hip-hop. 

Listen, the most “gangsta” thing Drake has ever done is buy a bag of weed with his Bar Mitzvah money. Since when are Canadian Jews from upper-middle class Caucasian families in touch with the heat on the street? (This is similar to the media phenomenon claiming that Obama is from Chicago; since when does working somewhere make you "from" there? He was raised in Hawaii/Indonesia, went to college in New York and only in his later years moved to Chicago.)

I guess Chris Brown agrees with me that Drake is a wussy. The two hate each other and brawled once at a night club, and were later offered a million dollars each to officially duke it out in a boxing match. Since Chris Brown can't hit women anymore he had to decline.

The Queen Bee, one of the last living REAL rap artists. 

Child actors like Drake have stolen hip-hop away from its rightful voice. It’s been taken away from its original context, raped of all meaning, and regurgitated to the public because of the infectious beats. The only prerequisite that seems to have remained is that any artists representing this genre be black, or at least half-black. Nothing of the original struggle, racial and social issues are there in the lyrics. 

And people listen to this music -- with its endless and repetitive references to booty-shaking, clubbing, drugs, fame, reckless money-spending -- and scorn “that black music.” 

Hiding under the guise of the African-American subculture to deflect criticism, (mostly white) CEOs of music companies can produce scandalous, sex-obsessed, drug-infused hip-hop music that sells with less of the scandal. When cute lil white girl Britney Spears wears a sexy schoolgirl outfit in a music video, people were horrified! But when Lil Kim talks about how she can "make a Sprite can dissappear in her mouth" people don't even blink.

(NOTE: I am in no way hating on Lil Kim. She is one of the few original players out there who truly reps her hood and remembers where she came from. 15 years later, she's still the one and only wicked Bitch of the East. The Queen Bee is among the most talented female rappers in music history. And she never went all diva -- she even did time in jail trying to protect her friends in court. Loyalty). 

But .... stealing things from other cultures is good for sales. In exchange for appropriating the once-dignified music of a minority race and selling your soul to the devil, of course. 

Here's a cool video of Drake getting a cap in his ass when he was an actor on the homosexual children's show Degrassi: 

Inducing Menstruation

I drank the Goya nectar and it worked!

Have you ever had a late period, knowing that you weren't preggers, but struggling with all the yucky side effects of PMS all the same, without any end in sight? I have. As someone with PCOS (maybe) infrequent or non-existant periods have always been a problem for me. I'll get bloated, have mood swings, cramps, fatigue and, alas, no period.

I've done a lot of research on inducing your period and have found that there are, surprisingly, some remedies that really work (or, at least people say they do and in one occassion, they have for me).

1. Papaya. Vitamin C suppresses the production of progesterone, thereby allowing the lining of the uterus to shed more easily. I have taken Vitamin C supplements without any effect, but the papaya trick worked for me. My dear, sweet mother picked me up some papaya juice one month when I was having menstruation issues. After drinking it, next morning I had by far the absolute worst cramps I've ever had -- I literally could not walk -- but I think it was worth it, because my period came that day. The trick is papaya juice is very difficult to find in the UK. In the US, where there are large Hispanic populations, you can usually find it in the ethnic food section of the supermarket with the Latin ingredients. It is possible that it the papaya and the period were just a coincidence, but the fact that I've never had cramps before makes me feel that there was a definite correlation.

2. Parsley tea. I am trying this now -- there is a fresh, hot cup of parsley tea on my coffee table as I type! I will report back on it's efficacy, however, I have read reviews claiming that it does work. One reviewer wrote that it "tastes like ass" but the taste is actually nice to me. It reminds me of the great Hungarian dishes with parsley in it that my father used to make.

Here is the method. It is recommended that you use fresh parsley.

1. Pour hot water (not boiling) over a few sprigs of parsley.
2. Wait for 2-3 minutes.

Some recommend using the parsley as a vaginal suppository but I will not discuss this here. That is a bit too much for me: I don't want to turn my vag into a some strange stewing pot of fragrant roots and herbs.

I have heard that adding honey makes it taste better, but to me that would be gross! Just suck it up, drink it and we'll see what happens!

EDIT: Verdict on parsley tea: It did NOT work for me.

What I Learnt As An English Major

What I Learnt As An English Major Well, truth be told, there are innumerable things I learned as an English major, so maybe this title is a bit misleading (one of the less interesting little tidbits I've come to know is that in the UK it is "learnt" while in the USA it is "learned": for clarity's sake I will evoke the British standards henceforth). However, this list will focus on the things I have learnt as an English major that are actually relevant to the workforce (in no particular order). This entry will be designed to refute the notion that liberal arts majors have "no skills" and "should be pelted with rotten tomatoes." I was inspired to write this by hearing from many people that being an liberal Arts major is “useless” and simply “majoring in your hobby.” Truthfully, I would be reading literature and writing and analysing the world around me even if it didn’t contribute to my GPA (which is 3.9, thankyouverymuch), but choosing an English major was right for me because it capitalised on my already existing talents and challenged me to hone them and make them better. 

1. As an English major, I learnt to speak in front of a large group of people concisely and articulately. I learned how to present and communicate material to an audience in an efficient and clear way, and, more invaluably, I was taught how to express my thoughts and opinions in an impromptu delivery. For many people, public speaking is a phobia and speaking candidly and extemporaneously in an unplanned, off-the-cuff fashion in a professional group setting is intimidating. While I admit that I have always suffered from "a shyness that is criminally vulgar", I have definitely learned to express myself well in an academic or professional situation. 
2. I learned how to process written information and summarise accurately the important parts, drawing correlations between them and other information I’ve read. I’ve learned how to research information appropriately, evaluating said information on its own and in comparison to other sources, and sometimes in the process coming up with my own information based on a comparison of the two (the good old-fashioned thesis). This skill is applicable to other majors as well, but is specifically valid for English majors, who do not read information that is as straight-forward and factual as, say, a science major does. This ability is, supposedly, one of the main reasons many English majors decide to pursue a career in law after graduating. However, I think that this skill is universally applicable in many fields. Finding connections and patterns takes time and training, and no one is better at coming up with new ideas and forging new connections than the good ol' English major. 

Louis Vuitton Speedy Bandouliere 30

So, my DH ("dear hubby" for those of you unfamiliar with forum-speak) finally caved and bought me that bag I've been lusting over for, I don't know, around 8 years!

The agreement was that if I accompanied him on his business trip in Houston for 3 weeks he would buy me an LV. Not a bad deal, eh?

I wrote about my purchase (complete with pics and everything!) on The Purse Forum. I think I might even do a video review, not because anyone will watch it, but because I am keen to try the camera function on my MacBook.

Here's a pic of the bag taken with my digital camera:

Here's a semi-anonymous pic of me modelling the bag (of course, my digital camera/video recorder BROKE just after taking the first picture ... maybe God's punishment for being so materialistic?).

Pigeons. Everybody loves them. But are they suitable as pets?

So this hotel I'm staying at has loads of pigeons in the parking lot area. Since it was really hot out I opened the window and forgot to close it when I left.

I came back to find two pigeons perching on the lamp.

I was kind of freaked out and a bit afraid to go near them so I just got a towel and threw it near the lamp (not at them). They immediately flew out the window.

Now I feel immensely guilty ...

I wasn't sure if they would attack me or feel threatened by my presence so I'm glad I scared them away. It made me do some research online to see if pigeons really can become aggressive, and the answer is a resounding YES.

This video is indisputable proof:

Aberdeen, Scotland

Last week I made my third visit to Aberdeen, Scotland (where my husband used to live). 

Aberdeen (Scottish Gaelic Obar Dheathain) is a great little city that is now a burgeoning metropolis due to the North Sea Oil trade. Located near the ocean, many people who live here or visit here are connected to the petroleum trade (the hotel I stayed in had three clocks, two of which told the time in Oslo, Norway and Houston, Texas: oil hubs of the world). It's nicknamed "The Granite City," and it's easy to see why: nearly all the buildings are constructed from the locally sourced, beautiful granite. It has one of the smallest international airports in the world, the Aberdeen Heliport, which is growing more and more busy in proportion to the amount of oil that is flowing through the city. 

Me in Aberdeen: You can see why it is called "The Granite City"

I love Scotland. The people are so friendly and the atmosphere is much more relaxed there. We stayed at the Marriot Hotel in Dyce, which was unusual for us because we usually go Hilton. It was located very nearby to the train station, which was great because it gave me the opportunity to go to Union Square every day!


Union Square is a fairly recent mall that was built in the centre of Aberdeen, and it has some stores that I really love. H&M, Pandora, River Island, New Look, Deichmann, Zara and especially Dune are some of my favorite high street brands and they are all there at Union Square. 
What makes this mall even better is that it is directly connected to the train station. Aside from the obnoxious loud teenagers and misbehaving children, I had a lot of fun shopping there. 

Union Square @ Aberdeen

My hubby even took me to see The Great Gatsby. I am an English Literature major from American but bizarrely I had never read the novel up until this summer, so it was very coincidental that they would come out with a modern movie version this winter. Since the movie featured Leonardo Dicaprio, the love of my life (I don't care that he's old and ugly now, I still adore him!), I HAD to see it. I know the movie got some negative reviews, but of course, you can never really compare a movie to a novel anyway. Every movie version of a famous novel is bound to fail at some point: it's nearly impossible to encompass the emotional journey of a whole book in 2 hours. The soundtrack was unbelievable (Beyonce, OutKast, Jay-Z, Florence & The Machine, Lana del Ray, Gotse, etc), although a bit jarring in a movie that takes place in 1918. Lana del Ray's "Young and Beautiful" is such a gorgeous, haunting song that perfectly encapsulates the false values and superficiality that is the basis of The Great Gatsby. 

My car photo

The first time I went to Aberdeen, my sweet husband insisted on driving there from London (8 hours!!!) to show me the beauty of the northern England countryside and the Scottish highlands. And, my, was I impressed! That was truly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and the beauty I saw during that road trip remains unsurpassed by anything I've ever seen. The photos I took are a sad reflection of the actual beauty I saw in person. Unfortunately, my camera died just as we were going through the Highlands!

Beautiful, rolling countryside

This time, however, we took a flight to Aberdeen. The British Airways business class lounge in Aberdeen is really nice and quiet. I made a pig of myself and ruined my diet eating scones, cookies, little turkey and salmon sandwiches, soup, cheese and downing three (3) whiskey drinks (I got inventive and combined it with apple cider: it was actually a good combo!). However, the location was kind of weird: we were seated at a level slightly above the regular waiting area with a see-through window. 

We had a number of travel failures this week. On our way to our flight after seeing The Great Gatsby, the train we were in broke down just a few yards from the station. We were stuck in a train for an hour until it pushed back into the station. Then, they had the nerve not to let us off the train until they fixed the problem! We were there for around an hour and a half until they were able to push off. At that point we would have missed our flight, but my husband received an email telling him that it was cancelled anyway. 

Strange: my horoscope said nothing about troubles with travel that day!

So we booked an extra night at the Doubletree Hotel, and got one of those insanely delicious, high-caloried, diet-ruining Doubletree Cookies! Recipe Here!

Senseless Acts of Kindness

Last night I had the weirdest dream.

It was one of the first dreams I've had in a long time during which I wasn't able to control the outcome. You see, I've been trying this whole "lucid dreaming" thing where I'm hoping to some day gain control of my dreams (so I can meet the love of my life Leonard DiCaprio in Inceptionland). I know I have a small it of the ability, because whenever something bad is going to happen I can control it. For example, if I'm about to fall off a cliff in my dream I can devise something to save myself or else wake myself up immediately.

Last night I had the closest thing to a nightmare in a long time.

These guys pull up to me in a car and hop out and grab me and say very aggressively, "YOU'RE COMING WITH ME."

At this point in the dream I remember getting quite alarmed, as I would naturally in such a situation.

When they stuffed me into the backseat of the car, they turned around and said, "WE'RE GOING ON VACATION. AND WE'RE GOING SHOPPING. AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE STORES, THEN WE'RE GONNA GO TO SOME OTHER STORES! AND IF YOU DON'T HAVE FUN, WE'LL DO SOMETHING YOU WANT!"

So it was kind of like the opposite of a nightmare.

Strange, because in the dream I was convinced I was gonna get abducted or mugged or murdered.

It made me think of how much better a place this world would be if people were prone to extreme acts of charity instead of extreme acts of sadistic violence. Seems like you always hear about these freaks like Adam Lanza or Chris Holmes or the Columbine dorks killing people for fun, but when do you ever hear about senseless acts of kindness?

I just wanna hear ONE story in which some crazy guy just bursts through the security at his local elementary school and forcibly delivers handmade gourmet cupcakes to every classroom in the building. Or some dorky kid shuts down an entire high school so he can make sure everyone gets a brand new iPad before they leave.

"HERE'S A BRAND NEW IPAD! TAKE IT!" he would yell. Of course, a few people would say, "But I already have an iPad." At this point he would become agitated and start gesticulating madly and attempt to force the person to take the brand new iPad. "Oh, ok, calm down buddy, I guess I could always sell it on eBay." Think about it. That kid might have been nerdy and socially awkward, but do you think he would get made fun of after doing something like that? "The kid in the trenchcoat with the black cowboy hat sure is weird, but hey, he gave us all free iPads so we'll let him hang out with us cool kids." The news reporter today would comment on the new trend: "Social psychologists believe that kids are being exposed to too many Oprah reruns."

*****
(Somewhat) related question: Do you ever read things in your dream? I do all the time, although I am quite sure it is not "real reading." I'll still be looking at a page of words and comprehending them, though, and in my dream it seems as if it is not coming from my own invention. Strange, huh?

Gotcha, captcha!

You know those "captcha" phrases you have to enter whenever you want to register for something online or if you've forgotten your password?

 You'll get this strange non-word written in illegible cursive and you have to re-type it.

One time I had to type in one of those and for the life of me I couldn't figure out what it said.

Which made me think: AM I A ROBOT?

OK, sure, I've always accepted it as a possibility but I never thought I'd find out in this way!!

Michael Kors - CopyCat Designer?

While I have always had an affinity for the Michael Kors brand, perhaps simply (and egotistically) because his famous monogram MK corresponds to my own initial, I have always noticed that the designer has made a habit of ripping off more well-established designers, namely Louis Vuitton, Hermes and Gucci.

Is there anything wrong with this? I'm not sure. Shouldn't us regular folks have access to the cool designs and fashion trends that are normally reserved only for the elite? Maybe, but doesn't that come very close to the line of intellectual theft and downright counterfeiting?

Do you see what I mean?

The signature monogram MK, much like the signature monogram LV, is in light tan colors with a brown background. The structure and shape of many of the MK bags are also similar to the LV designs, as can be seen below:

Louis Vuitton Monogram Speedy
(pic from Shen's Addiction)

Michael Kors Logo Satchel

Louis Vuitton Speedy Damier Azur

Pic from Bagaholic Boy

They even have a
design quite similar to the very popular Totally and Neverfull lines:

Michael Kors Jet Set Tote

    

Totally MM

Louis Vuitton Neverfull collection

Michael Kors Jetset Macbook Tote

These are all just the most glaring examples. There are many more MK designs that are clearly based on the LV legacy, but to showcase them all would take up too much space on this blog!

Michael Kors doesn't just stick to Louis Vuitton, though. He also crosses into Hermes territory:

Hermes Birkin Bag

Michael Kors Hamilton Tote

MaryFashionLove

And even dares to violate the name of Gucci!

Gucci Tote (unknown)
pic from William Yan

Michael Kors Jet Set East/West tote

I have noticed this trend in MK for awhile but really became cognizant of it when I was on a flight and asked a lady if her watch was MK -- my friend had one that looked identical to it -- but she said no, it was Chanel. 

I don't know if it's necessarily a bad thing, though. In many ways I think the MK brand is an improvement on the original designs and for a price that is actually affordable for most of the populace. Whether it verges on intellectual copyright infringement, I don't know. 

Thoughts, anyone?